weekly confidence elements
week 1: speak up when you don't understand
Often when people don't understand, they feel embarrassed and simply pretend they have understood. At best this can lead to missed opportunities and more work, at worst misunderstandings. If you are someone who normally stays quiet when you don't understand, my challenge to you this week (and continuing through the whole of the Just Talk Club) is to speak up when this happens. Have a look here to watch my 2-minute video on this and to see my suggested phrases to use when you don't understand.
week 2: negative self-talk
"One of the biggest challenges anxious speakers face is that they overestimate how negatively other people will judge their performance. The truth is most audience members aren't picking apart a presenters' language skills... they are much more focussed on the message and the information being given." ('Fearless Speaking' Gary Genard)
Genard then goes on to explain that this overestimation of other people's negative reaction, can actually create a 'negative reality'.
Quite possibly you did fine, as you succeeded with your goal e.g. updating everyone where you are with project X. However, because you worry about the grammar mistakes you might have made or the word you realised you pronounced wrong, you don't see the success.
It is key to stop all this negative self-talk because it:
1) makes your English worse by making you super nervous and unsure, and taking your brain space and energy away from where it should be - your message
2) makes you feel bad and you will most likely try to avoid speaking English whenever possible
The task:
Spend 10 minutes thinking about what negative self-talk you have around speaking English at work. Make a list of all the different points you can think of. Then, try to find a positive coping statement for each point.
Here are a few example negative self-talk statements I've heard from clients and my ideas for a positive coping statement to counter it:
People will judge my English
I'm not there because of my English, I'm there because of my knowledge
I might not understand a question
If this happens I will confidently ask them to repeat it a little slower or rephrase it with different words.
My mind will go blank.
It probably won't happen but if it does, I will take a deep breath and look at my notes.
I might make a mistake and everyone will think it's unprofessional.
Everyone knows English isn't my first language and they don't expect my English to be perfect.
Genard then goes on to explain that this overestimation of other people's negative reaction, can actually create a 'negative reality'.
Quite possibly you did fine, as you succeeded with your goal e.g. updating everyone where you are with project X. However, because you worry about the grammar mistakes you might have made or the word you realised you pronounced wrong, you don't see the success.
It is key to stop all this negative self-talk because it:
1) makes your English worse by making you super nervous and unsure, and taking your brain space and energy away from where it should be - your message
2) makes you feel bad and you will most likely try to avoid speaking English whenever possible
The task:
Spend 10 minutes thinking about what negative self-talk you have around speaking English at work. Make a list of all the different points you can think of. Then, try to find a positive coping statement for each point.
Here are a few example negative self-talk statements I've heard from clients and my ideas for a positive coping statement to counter it:
People will judge my English
I'm not there because of my English, I'm there because of my knowledge
I might not understand a question
If this happens I will confidently ask them to repeat it a little slower or rephrase it with different words.
My mind will go blank.
It probably won't happen but if it does, I will take a deep breath and look at my notes.
I might make a mistake and everyone will think it's unprofessional.
Everyone knows English isn't my first language and they don't expect my English to be perfect.
week 3: mindset
I often mention 'mindset' when talking about speaking English at work. To find out exactly what I mean, read below:
When I first started teaching, it was all about the traditional elements of grammar and pronunciation etc
However, I soon noticed there was a key aspect missing. I would have two clients with a very similar level of English but their English work performance differed massively. This was due to more than just nerves. The belief that many of my clients had that their English should be perfect, was reducing their ability to speak.
If you think....
-you shouldn't make any mistakes when you speak
-you need to learn every English word you don't know
-you need to impress your audience with complex grammar or vocab
-you should have an accent like a native speaker
...............you are probably making your English worse.
You are taking your focus away from where it should be - your message.
Your fluency and your ability to listen to other people in the room suffer.
You are putting huge amounts of unnecessary pressure on yourself.
The task:
Watch the first few minutes of this clip of American musician Kelvin Jones who lives in Berlin. He doesn't have perfect German, but that doesn't stop him doing anything.
How do you feel listening to him? Are you annoyed by his mistakes and use of relatively simple grammar/vocab or interested in what he is saying?
Kelvin Jones im radio SAW-Interview
When I first started teaching, it was all about the traditional elements of grammar and pronunciation etc
However, I soon noticed there was a key aspect missing. I would have two clients with a very similar level of English but their English work performance differed massively. This was due to more than just nerves. The belief that many of my clients had that their English should be perfect, was reducing their ability to speak.
If you think....
-you shouldn't make any mistakes when you speak
-you need to learn every English word you don't know
-you need to impress your audience with complex grammar or vocab
-you should have an accent like a native speaker
...............you are probably making your English worse.
You are taking your focus away from where it should be - your message.
Your fluency and your ability to listen to other people in the room suffer.
You are putting huge amounts of unnecessary pressure on yourself.
The task:
Watch the first few minutes of this clip of American musician Kelvin Jones who lives in Berlin. He doesn't have perfect German, but that doesn't stop him doing anything.
How do you feel listening to him? Are you annoyed by his mistakes and use of relatively simple grammar/vocab or interested in what he is saying?
Kelvin Jones im radio SAW-Interview
week 4: appearing more confident
This week's confidence element is short and sweet. Here are five quick tips to help you appear more confident.
1. Smile
2. Give eye contact
3. Sit/stand up straight with your shoulders back
4. Slow down your speaking
5. If you can feel yourself getting nervous, use slow breathing to help calm yourself.
As well as appearing more confident, there are two further benefits:
1) There is large amounts of evidence that body language is just as, if not more, important to your audience than the words you are saying. This means that if you get the body language right, your message will be better received.
2) By having the body language of a confident person you can trick your body into genuinely feeling more confident. A great, research-based Ted Talk exploring this point is:
Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are | Amy Cuddy | TED - YouTube
1. Smile
2. Give eye contact
3. Sit/stand up straight with your shoulders back
4. Slow down your speaking
5. If you can feel yourself getting nervous, use slow breathing to help calm yourself.
As well as appearing more confident, there are two further benefits:
1) There is large amounts of evidence that body language is just as, if not more, important to your audience than the words you are saying. This means that if you get the body language right, your message will be better received.
2) By having the body language of a confident person you can trick your body into genuinely feeling more confident. A great, research-based Ted Talk exploring this point is:
Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are | Amy Cuddy | TED - YouTube